does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I am available for nakedness
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
