the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
How does one acquire holy water?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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