Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
