Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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