I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you traded sex for a burrito?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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