We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
