Where did you get a picture of my penis
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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