And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
