They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
