Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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