i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
