The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We have so much sex to catch up on
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize