Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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