"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize