evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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