these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
