so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
