trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is my gift to your gina
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
