What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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