You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
