...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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