That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
it's like heaven, but drunker
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
