Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I forget how to act sober
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
