South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
