some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
