Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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