All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
