You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
