The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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