have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
