I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Boobs are out for the taking
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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