Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
