Just fell off a train. Bad.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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