I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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