the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
