so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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