Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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