I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
