just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
