I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
