just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
