Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
