I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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