similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
