I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I understand Curling. That high.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Damn victory sex feels great
He shit in the fireplace
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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