the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
