found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
