Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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