Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
