I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
