Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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