Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
