You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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