just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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