AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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