I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
