It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
