I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
