I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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