I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
