hotel room ftw
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
