everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
