My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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