so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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