One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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