I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize