she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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