Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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