bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You've changed since you got that strap on
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
