With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize