Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
