I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
