he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
