Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
