Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
