____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
