i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
